Edward Michael Doran: The Man. The Myth. The Primate.

By. Dr. Borris Swenekaf

Edward Doran is a Class of 2018 Chaminade High School graduate who was on the Robert C. Wright Speech and Debate Team. Edward Doran, or Doranchulla as his friends refer to him was an extemporaneous speaker who earned a TOC bid at the Princeton University tournament and qualified for NCFL Grand National Tournament his senior year in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Edward Doran volunteers his time as a medical assistant at Winthrop University Hospital in Mineola, NY. 🅱️edward 🅱️ichael 🅱️oran, as the locals call him, lives in West Hempstead, NY. His areas of expertise include: US Foreign Policy specifically in Asia and US Economic Policy. Edwardo is a registered Republican, but is rather moderate in his beliefs. His biggest rival is Jack Valentino, or as he is referred to as "JV because he's not good enough to be in Varsity," who appears to always be filming him. His other biggest enemy in this world is Rory Patrick Mahon, or as he is colloquially known, "The Sock Man," because Rory is still discerning homosexual feelings for Ed, but only when he takes his socks off.

Published 2/2/18 Authorized and approved and authenticated by NASA